Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Trust in God

Trust in God. How many of us really do this? When we say the Apostles' Creed in Mass we say we believe...we believe in Jesus...we believe in the Holy Spirit...we believe in the resurrection...we believe in life after death...but is believing and trusting the same thing?

I have had a pretty strong relationship with God for the past five years now, but every once in a while something happens that causes my relationship to go to the next level (I love it when that happens!). This time, it was the realization that I actually had zero trust in God. I would pray to God, go to Mass (even daily mass), I believed all the teachings of the Church, I believed that if I followed Christ's commandments then I would be able to be with Him one day in heaven; but honestly, I didn't trust Him with my life at all.

Personally, I do not like being in situations where I do not know the right next step, so I tend to plan things way in advance. I am one of those people that has to plan an entire conversation in my head before I can even say hi to someone (even though the conversation never goes as I planned anyways). Even my future career I had had planned when I was four years old - I knew I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and have six kids (and what all their names would be).

Many college students are at that point in their life where they are starting to realize that the real world is coming quickly. We are starting to wonder if we will be able to find a job once we graduate and if we will ever find "The One" or if we will really be #foreveralone. I personally had been feeling those typical fears about planning my life after college and, as always, trying to plan my future.

About a year ago, one of my dear friends texted me a prayer I really needed to hear, and it literally made me cry the first time I read it. It was a beautiful prayer and I loved it. I continued to pray it often over the next year. Recently however, one part started to really stick out to me, "I want you to stop planning and stop wanting, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan ever existing–one that you cannot even imagine." This one line made me start to think. Does this mean I'm not actually supposed to be planning and worrying about my future? But if I didn't plan, then how would I ever end up where I wanted to be?

Luke 1:26-38 tells the story of the
Annunciation of our Lord, and Mary's
perfect "yes" - "May it be done to me
according to your word!"
These thoughts were in my mind for a while, then one day I was driving in my car and decided to turn off my radio and just pray for a bit. God and I had a fabulous, long conversation and then, at the end, one Bible verse was in my head: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to YOUR word." It was a prayer. It was a prayer that God wanted me to pray to Him. It was a prayer that would tell God that His will and divine plan for me came before my own wants. I couldn't pray it. I tried and tried, until finally I said it out loud. It was only a simple Bible verse I had heard a million times before so I was confused - why was it so difficult to say this one simple line?

I realized it was because I didn't have trust in God. I was so caught up in what I wanted with my life, that I forgot to ever ask God what He wanted from me. Once I finally stopped planning my own life, I was able to actually listen to the plans that God had in store for me. I could now finally start living as the prayer said "a more thrilling plan than I could have ever imagined." Once I finally stopped planning, I actually could relax because it no longer was about IF all MY plans would come true, but instead just waiting for the beautiful plan God had in store for me to happen.

So now I have a challenge for you. Give yourself completely to God. Tell Him, "I am your humble servant Lord, let it be done to me according to YOUR will." And then you will no longer have to worry about if your life will go according to plan but instead be able to enjoy the life that God already has planned for you.

Katherine Theresa Elizabeth Janusa studies elementary education at Stephen F Austin University. She absolutely loves Michael Bublé music and anything that's related to the 50's! She's super excited about co-coordinating SFA Awakening 50 this fall! She loves being a member of Dancers of the Son and Dancers Against Cancer where she can use her passion of dance to help others both physically and spiritually!

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